Monday, February 21, 2011

wow 4 am is early and not getting any easier..

ive been waking up at 4 am to get to work and man does it come early. also at 4am the roads are clear but there is no one to talk to and its a little strangewhen the roads are clear because i live in phoenix and there are usually a ton of people on the roads. so it gets a little creepy in the still dark pre dawn hours. i use the time to think and clear my head and make mental notes of what i would like to accomplish in the day usually. not today.. its strange because i cant seem to get random thoughts out of my head. do you guys do this too or am i completely weird? let me explain. i think it starts with me saying goodbye and ksiing allan and lilly on their sweet foreheads. then when i am in the car and its all creepy ouy i think of something happy like kissing them bye in their warm beds and it ends up with me thinking about how much i care for them and thens i think about all the bad things that could happen to them or me.. i know it is a little morbid. sorry. im not sure why these thoughts creep into my head and dont get me wrong im not obsessed by them or anything. it just seems to happen from time to time and i think that this is probably normal. people think about their own mortality right? it stems from me just loving my little family so much and not being able to contemplate anything happening to them.. except i end up thinking about all the many nwhat ifn and random things that could happen that would be plain awful. is it because im a nurse and see to much sorrow in my line of work? or do i have a awful imagination? not really sure but i know one thing i sure do love my family and friends and would be devastated if anything happened to any of them. thoughts or comments are welcomed .. just be nice.


Sandy Keyes said...

Sarah, you are just so in love with your family. They have really grown on you. God has blessed you. When those creepy thoughts come in, turn your thoughts to happy times, to future happy times, or to just praising God and ask Him to watch over them and you while you are separate one from another. God is good! Put Him in that car with you on that lonely trip to work. It is a good time to be alone with Him, and He doesn't mind chatter. I have done it a million times myself, and my trips were always much more calming. Have a good week. Love, Sandy

Jenn said...

I do that too! Usually mine come when I am trying to sleep and cant quite get there.
I agree with Sandy, just turn those thoughts around. :) I put up pics from and facebook.